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Well, in light of the very bad and for the most part unwarranted reputation online relationships have, I, as a person who is in one and has been in for over a year, have decided to write this to defend the phenomenon that I consider the biggest reason for my being able to maintain my sanity through the 8th grade and what I have been through of this year as well as my success at being a webmaster and semi-powerful online entity.
First, I must state that I have never been one to follow the group, so it surprised few if any of those who know me when I began my own in spite of the unwarranted negative image they have. They did of course make many made pathetic attacks on me because they were foolish enough to believe the horror-movie generated stereotype of people online not being who they claim to be. I personally think this ridiculous because as a major internet user, I know that you must have a certain degree of trust in what others say in this area if you expect them to believe what you say, because if it was as common as people think for people to lie about themselves, then you could not have a working society such as GameFAQs where I started my emergence into internet society, or more importantly, Serebii.net Forums, where I met most of my friends, including LtU (the abbreviation of the screen name Lugia the Ultimate) who has come to be the only person I have ever truly loved (not counting family members, etc.), to exist. The reason I say this is that communities such as these are built upon gaming knowledge, thus it would be pretty darn hard for the majority of the members to not be the children and teenagers that they are and tell people they are(these two being one and the same) because they'd need the knowledge of and experience in games that only said groups are likely to have.
Now, it DID very much surprise those same people when this summer I met with LtU at the famous anime convention Otakon in Baltimore, Maryland. It also surprised them when I returned to school this year with pictures of myself and her together there and rubbed it in their faces politely that I was right and they were oh so very wrong in their pitiful attempts to dishearten and mock me.
And although 9 out of 10 Online couples will not meet in real life, even without ever doing so, many people have found love in the form of online relationships. However, there are a number of factors that influence said relationships, these including; Similar interests, mutual trust, the ability to be good friends before anything of a romantic sort develops, and many others. Most importantly among those is being friends first. If a person is unwilling to be friends first, the relationship has a low chance of success.
Now, I will not deny that there are "wolves" out there who will hurt you, but there are a few easy steps to avoid the majority of them. They are; #1: NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! should you use dating sites. If there are "wolves" anywhere, they will be found there, especially in the well advertised ones like "E-harmony.com." #2: Try to avoid chat rooms as much as possible (excluding Instant Messenger private ones). They have the second largest "wolf" population. #3: Never enter an online relationship with a person who is unable to be or refuses to be a friend first. To elaborate, in order to be friends first, both of you must have a few common interests, such as a love of Rockman (Megaman) and Pokemon such as myself and LtU share. You must also have compatible personalities, because in reality, people with totally opposite personalities will clash more often than those with both similarities and differences. You must also have an easier way to talk than E-mail, such as Phone, Instant Messengers, or the like. If you do not have these things, there is little chance of a successful friendship, never mind an online relationship. #4: DO NOT seek an online relationship, if it's going to happen, chance meetings have a much higher chance of being a person you could have a relationship with because seeking one effectively makes you "wolf-bait."
Now, another aspect people often attack is that you cannot tell if the other person is cheating and/or that you cannot effectively console the other person in the relationship. To the first of these I will point out that this is built on trust. If you cannot trust the other person, you should not be in any sort of relationship with them. To the other I will say that if you truly care, you can. As proof of this, I cite my own case; whenever I talk to LtU or role play hug/kiss her, I feel better, merely talking to her can break the darkest of my moods and I believe I have effectively cheered her up in the same or other ways quite a bit as well. This is as much consoling as you can do in real life, but without the potential negative side effects (see below).
In turn, two benefits of online relationships are that you get to know a person before you can judge him or her by their looks and that there is a much smaller possibility of the girl becoming pregnant from a random day together (which we all know is a distinct possibility with the majority of all couples these days, no matter how much we’d like to say it’s not). To elaborate on the first, frankly, I hate the subconscious tendency to judge a person by merely his or her looks, and this has allowed me to circumvent it (though LtU is a very beautiful girl, don't take that the wrong way), and many potentially loving and/or very nice people are discounted by minor physical defects that if you cared about them before meeting them, you would ignore completely. And on the second, need I really say more?
So, should you meet a person online, give them the same chance you would if you met them in real life (meaning a fair chance) rather than assuming the worst because of an ignorant stereotype created by horror movies and the people who will believe them. -CyberForte, 10/9/05
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Well, in light of the very bad and for the most part unwarranted reputation online relationships have, I, as a person who is in one and has been in for over a year, have decided to write this to defend the phenomenon that I consider the biggest reason for my being able to maintain my sanity through the 8th grade and what I have been through of this year as well as my success at being a webmaster and semi-powerful online entity.
First, I must state that I have never been one to follow the group, so it surprised few if any of those who know me when I began my own in spite of the unwarranted negative image they have. They did of course make many made pathetic attacks on me because they were foolish enough to believe the horror-movie generated stereotype of people online not being who they claim to be. I personally think this ridiculous because as a major internet user, I know that you must have a certain degree of trust in what others say in this area if you expect them to believe what you say, because if it was as common as people think for people to lie about themselves, then you could not have a working society such as GameFAQs where I started my emergence into internet society, or more importantly, Serebii.net Forums, where I met most of my friends, including LtU (the abbreviation of the screen name Lugia the Ultimate) who has come to be the only person I have ever truly loved (not counting family members, etc.), to exist. The reason I say this is that communities such as these are built upon gaming knowledge, thus it would be pretty darn hard for the majority of the members to not be the children and teenagers that they are and tell people they are(these two being one and the same) because they'd need the knowledge of and experience in games that only said groups are likely to have.
Now, it DID very much surprise those same people when this summer I met with LtU at the famous anime convention Otakon in Baltimore, Maryland. It also surprised them when I returned to school this year with pictures of myself and her together there and rubbed it in their faces politely that I was right and they were oh so very wrong in their pitiful attempts to dishearten and mock me.
And although 9 out of 10 Online couples will not meet in real life, even without ever doing so, many people have found love in the form of online relationships. However, there are a number of factors that influence said relationships, these including; Similar interests, mutual trust, the ability to be good friends before anything of a romantic sort develops, and many others. Most importantly among those is being friends first. If a person is unwilling to be friends first, the relationship has a low chance of success.
Now, I will not deny that there are "wolves" out there who will hurt you, but there are a few easy steps to avoid the majority of them. They are; #1: NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! should you use dating sites. If there are "wolves" anywhere, they will be found there, especially in the well advertised ones like "E-harmony.com." #2: Try to avoid chat rooms as much as possible (excluding Instant Messenger private ones). They have the second largest "wolf" population. #3: Never enter an online relationship with a person who is unable to be or refuses to be a friend first. To elaborate, in order to be friends first, both of you must have a few common interests, such as a love of Rockman (Megaman) and Pokemon such as myself and LtU share. You must also have compatible personalities, because in reality, people with totally opposite personalities will clash more often than those with both similarities and differences. You must also have an easier way to talk than E-mail, such as Phone, Instant Messengers, or the like. If you do not have these things, there is little chance of a successful friendship, never mind an online relationship. #4: DO NOT seek an online relationship, if it's going to happen, chance meetings have a much higher chance of being a person you could have a relationship with because seeking one effectively makes you "wolf-bait."
Now, another aspect people often attack is that you cannot tell if the other person is cheating and/or that you cannot effectively console the other person in the relationship. To the first of these I will point out that this is built on trust. If you cannot trust the other person, you should not be in any sort of relationship with them. To the other I will say that if you truly care, you can. As proof of this, I cite my own case; whenever I talk to LtU or role play hug/kiss her, I feel better, merely talking to her can break the darkest of my moods and I believe I have effectively cheered her up in the same or other ways quite a bit as well. This is as much consoling as you can do in real life, but without the potential negative side effects (see below).
In turn, two benefits of online relationships are that you get to know a person before you can judge him or her by their looks and that there is a much smaller possibility of the girl becoming pregnant from a random day together (which we all know is a distinct possibility with the majority of all couples these days, no matter how much we’d like to say it’s not). To elaborate on the first, frankly, I hate the subconscious tendency to judge a person by merely his or her looks, and this has allowed me to circumvent it (though LtU is a very beautiful girl, don't take that the wrong way), and many potentially loving and/or very nice people are discounted by minor physical defects that if you cared about them before meeting them, you would ignore completely. And on the second, need I really say more?
So, should you meet a person online, give them the same chance you would if you met them in real life (meaning a fair chance) rather than assuming the worst because of an ignorant stereotype created by horror movies and the people who will believe them. -CyberForte, 10/9/05
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